This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE.

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"

He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow.... " My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE

Continued Part...

So a new story with an entirely new chapter.The guy's happiness knows no boundaries.They both began to share regular chats.Inspite of so much distance they have always felt the degree of closeness between them.They just have to open the arms and they can hug each other, kiss each other.Misunderstandings and problems make their entry too but make their exit soon as they were together.
Their friends, companions around were so happy for them.Together they have planned their future very well.They beagn to live in their dreamy world.Although the guy was focussed but sometimes the girl get drwoned in her world of practicality.When she thought about her parents, she feel guilty of cheating on them.She always thought of making her parents proud, the only aim of her life..On the other hand, thinks about herself too, about her own life, the way she wanted.
Agreements, disagreements , clashes and supporting each other.
The only bad phase is when the guy leave for his training.Lack of communication was never an issue.Birthdays, festivals all were expected to be celebrated on phone and sometimes even phones are not available.So its just wishing each other and hugging each other virtually.

Then one day the girl again lands up on her homeland of confusion..In utter confusion she was avoiding any sort of communication with the guy, but the inner intuition didnt let the guy sleep.So he called up but the girl was not in a state of talking to anyone..
Her state cant be explained to anyone, so she avoided.But still the guy persuaded to talk.
In utter confusion the girl demanded to end up everything..The guy didnt understand anything and ended up agreeing to what the girl said..

This way the story ended up in an ironical situation and they broke up..
As a reader what do you think made it so ? All your comments are welcome....

Going against yourself

Sometimes life's a way too unexpected.These unexpectations sometimes bring joy and other times sorrow.
Someone rightly said
"Sometimes you have to go against yourself
to get going with the wind "

Confusions, dilemma's lead you nowhere in your life.
It s a real story of a girl, a girl who wants to fly high in the sky.Her only aim is to reach where nobody has ever gone.Her goals are different,ambitions are high, dreams knows no boundaries.
Fun loving,actiive, living each and every moment of life, laughing at wierdo people.
Acting way like an insane just to make the other one happy -Is what her life is based on.Her possesions meant to be her family, her friends and her bhagu( god) with whom she used to share every single bit.
Now she has grown up and have to understand life in a matured way.
She took a strong decision of her life at merely an age of 16.She left her home, her friends n moved on in her life, believing in her babaji n taking him along with her.
A new place, fresh faces,new life -she was a bit unsure about the things happening with her but sumhow adjusted and moved on her life.
Then a strange thing happens which she never ever expected in her life .
Yes love- she was always afraid of, a phenomena she had always treated as waste in her life.She never expected her life going at that way, because in her society its always about that only girls who dont value their values, their parents , their family enter this strange lane.
According to her plans it was not expected, her goals , dreams always overpowered this thing in her life.
But from nowhere entered this guy who felt in love with this ooh so confused, messy and a strange girl.He dint spoke a word because of his shy feelings,but it came as a big shock for her.Sumhow she s an extrovert girl so accepted it( getting proposals) as a part of life and at the same time rejected it.But cudnt say no to his friendship.
The casual friendship between them soon became serious for this guy.He has decided to have a long term relationship with the girl.But the girl was lost in her own world, making her dreams come true.She dont want to endulge in any sort of this thing as she dont want to disgrace her parents.
She ended everything but cudnt see the loss of that guy.So she decided to have a normal sort of friendship so that it dint bother him much.But then sooner or later the moment came when she has to return back.
It was a moment of glory for her to come back from where she was originally.But that guy was dumbstruck and spoilt himself.But his strong determination and focus lead him to the place of honour.He fulfilled his dream of getting into the field where he always wanted and hope that now atleast the girl would understand his love.
But inspite of loving that guy she cant say yes to him because of her plan.She cant mould it.But after struggling for several years the guy reached a pinnacle but remain where he was 3 yrs back.Still love the same girl, the one who never consider him, the one who changed this guy completely and never know anything about it.
So after sumtime they again became good frnz..Degree of closeness was increasing between them, again the guy proposes the girl and this time the gurl said YES.
The guy was goin mad, he pinched himself to get out of the dreamy world but this was reality.
He got the girl of his life..

To be continued....

Defining LoVe...

The spark of my life ,
a star in my shrine
a feeling so divine
wana keep it for lifetime..

The way you hold
the way you kiss
makes my world
a heaven in bliss

In the moonlight, with you wana dine
Lost in your arms, with a drink of wine

Dont wana blink my eyes
If its a dream
dont pinch me puhleez

Let me dive in the spirit so high
kiss me all night
love me whole day
Let me make a castle
in which we both stay..

Shhhhh..
Dont utter any words
Let the language of silence speaks

In the stillness of dawn
Only the beats of heart can be heard

Dont know whether love is prayer
or prayer is love
Her name is always taken wid him

I am not rich enough to give you anything
Except the small gestures of love and care
Accept my token of love
and hold my hands till I am awake...

TRUST....

Trust....

hard to mend , easy to break
it slips like sand
with time of grain.

A thin boundary
between trust and betrayal
Once you crossed it
nothing left behind.

Rarely you got indication from god
a realisation between right and wrong.

Everything was in your hands
but within a fraction of seconds
you stand empty hand..

Years of faith, tons of trust
Love and warmth, care and concern
With a blink of eye
the brightness fades away.

You know not where to bow
you know not how to take

Things get tough
really get tough
You stand bereft
When trust really means a word..

Is There A Way Out?

Locked in a room
Not able to move,
Thoughts provoke inside
Traps and trauma’s hovering over my mind.
When one door closes
Opens many a new
But why they all seem
Invisible at once.
Faith, trust in my harbinger
Will definitely search a way out
But the time surpasses
As if reaching the battle ground.

Hopes and expediencies
Seem to be abhorrent
Whims and fancies
Remains a part of day dreaming.
Anybody!
Somebody!!
Who can tell the truth
Is there really a way out?
Where I can walk miles a few…….

EXPECTATIONS ????

Expectations are lost in a blink of eye

No body dares when difficulty passes by

Others maintain ;

This too shall pass…

But accepting it is a bit aghast.

Efforts are there indeed

But nobody cauld see that transparent sheath

One from the crowd pinpoints you

Criticism is acceptable

But hearts of heart is hurt somewhere

why expect? why demand?

The why’s are creating havoc in mind.

Goals shattered, doors are closed

Boulevard of broken dreams is my home

A voice behind the door break the silence

“ expectations are expected from the expected ones

the smaller pieces of rocks are necessary

to provoke you from within” .

like a new butterfly struggled/destined

to come out of larva

blessed ones are expected to

overcome the hindrances.

With remorseful criticism

And hardships in life.

You are blessed with grace of power divine.

So neither regret

Nor complain

Because expectations makes you

Stronger and bolder

like the way you never expected...

MY best write up till now...

Ek pal hai janam deta
ek pal hai jeevan leta
do pal ka khel saara
koi haara koi jeeta
arre dosh kisko deta hai
jab paas tere hal hai
pal pal ki soch bande
ginti ka har ye pal hai.

PAL, yes i m talking about a moment.A moment of sadness, a moment of gladness n a moment of separation i.e. DEPARTURE.Even shakespeare quotes" WHETHER we shall meet or not, our evelasting farewell takes place now.Its now or never.If one has to depart then why shall thou meet".
FAREWELL means good bye -adieu originally applied to a person departing by custom.It is often separated by a pronoun as FARE-U-WELL n is sometimes used as ye sweet groves i.e. I bid you farewell.After long years in r life comes a day when we have to leave childhood n enter into adulthood.The memories of all those sweet things will always be in our heart's chamber until our life perishes..

If i reflect deeply, then its not only school but the whole universe is built up on the law of separation as love n grief are the two sides of the same coin.

We all have to accept it with a joy crossed by grief , with n eye dat seemed smiling yet shed tears, with mirth attending funeral n wid grief attending marriage.
Infact balancing both sorrow n joy equally against each other.People say dat d chariot of time runs n wid it flows d waves of fate over which travels d ship of so called LIFE...n guess who d captain..? Its none other than LORD almighty..But no one is capable enough to stop anyone from boarding this ship or leaving the same. but who the hell knows the reason, why god created this ship.Why he created this play which has three stages:

1.RENDEZVOUS
2.LIVING TOGETHER
3.DISENGAGE or DEPART

Life is a rose which when blushes on bush gives delights but when wizen gives an unbearable pain.That's why I say just live today to its fullest because we cant let yesaterday's disappointment cast a shadow on today's dream.

I would like to sum up by quoting few lines of shakespeare:

" AE FOND kisses n then we sever
A Farewell n then forever
Deep in heart wrung tears I'll pledge thee
Warring sighs n groans
I'll wage thee
Who shall say that fortune grieves him
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Mr, nae cheerful twinkle lights me
Dark despair wound benights me.."

REINVIGORATED

INNER SELF: two simple words but will take years to understand.

my new begining begins with the understanding of my INNER SELF.. my thoughts , ideas., my world..I wont write my biography here, but now i would add some thoughts and articles that are worthy of your attention..I'll continue to pen down my poems..The main concern would be to know my inner self through my thoughts and views..

Your comments are worth supporting my blog....